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Entries from here-on out are probably going to be shorter, since being an engineer is more time consuming than death is. Throw this on repeat. God knows I had to listen to it for a long time. Gathering up all of my Courage, I once again aspire the darkest devils of all humanity (VISA) and have my poor beat up up body reincarnated. Once Again I stand at the FORBODING DOOR to Castle ShadowGate. A Grinning DRUID-WIZARD LAKMIR stands behind me, no doubt ever-ready to bring my corpse back to the realm of living to spring another trap, so he doesn't have to mess up his shoes. Wizards are assholes. 
With Great Confidence stemming from years of expert SPACE MARINE training, I DEFTLY [OPEN] the FORBODING DOOR and then [MOVE] inside of it.
My Tea Party Introductions with Death did not go unnoticed however, and have been ambushed by SHIFTY MONOLOGUEING EYES!!!
"THAT PITIFUL WIZARD LAKMIR WAS A FOOL TO SEND A BUFFOON LIKE YOU TO STOP ME.
YOU WILL SURELY REGRET IT FOR THE ONLY THING HERE FOR YOU IS A HORRIBLE DEATH!!"
THE SOUND OF MANIACAL LAUGHTER ECHOES IN YOUR EARS. SHIFTY MONOLOGUEING EYES even monologued its own exit. what an asshat pair of eyes. With the pleasentries commenced, I proceed with the only thing an adventurer lives to do in a dark wizards tower: [LOOK] for loots.  On Opposite Sides of the Wall, I discover more GOD-TORCHES. With Great Haste I add them to My Inventory. As I Finish Looting the GOD-TORCHES, I Look Downwards-bound. To Discover A Great Nemesis: 
With the fury of a thousand banshees it launches an opening attack with grizzled tassles of grizzled threads made of grizzled demonic grizzled grilled cheese Of Grizzlc Proportions! It Is only because of my Extensive training as a Space marine that I can barely dodge its hellfire blows of stringy threaded appendages, appendages that have no doubt torn hundreds of beautiful maidens asunder into Grizzled Blood hewn chunks of injustice, comparable only to watching a Velociraptor have its way with a Chihuahua after 12 weeks of being on a deserted island with nothing twinkies to live off of.
This Rug Is my greatest Challenge.
My Greatest Foe. Drawing upon my full hatred of hell-rugs, I say A silent prayer to the great rocketfish. I feel the feeling of warm hands cupping around my body, urging me to go on and strike down my foe. With Divine justice on my side I Prepare a counter attack! I strike forth with the only weapon like object on my person: the [GOD-TORCH]. With Wrath born of religious fervor and eons of childhood abuse at the hands of rugs I strike forth, extending my arm to its full length, and hurl my GOD-TORCH holding hand rugward! The Hell rug sees through my plan and nimbly dodges to the side cackling maniacly. Realizing That I have over extended myself, I follow through my Torch swinging action into a SLEUTH -ROLL, putting a Good 10 feet between me and the rug. An angelic Choir begins to sing in my mind, and a feeling of elation takes my body. I realize that this is It. This is a Kill or be killed situation of the most epic propportions. I have lived my life up to this point in relative security, and only now am I being thrust out into the true world of life. How ever I have one thing that this hellrug will never have. I am a SPACE MARINE. Once again calling upon my years of of training, I dart forth. I faint left, and then join all of my muscles into a synchronous union, and strike from the right, hurling my torch hand into the heart of the Hell-Rug. 
LEVEL UP!
HP +0
STR +0
INT +1
DEX +4
TITLE GET! "FURNITURE BARBARIAN"
FEAT GET! "FAVOURED ENEMY: TAPESTRY"
SPOILS
BITS OF RUG
CHAR X2
DUST I quickly discard the spoils from my conflict. They aren't terribly useful. Sitting down at the other end of the hallway, stare at the remains of my vanquished foe. Having just survived a Life and death confrontation, I begin a quiet reflection on life, and how hard this will be. This Is Castle SHADOWGATE 
{INSERT MUSIC STING HERE}
Current Location: Front HALL
Current Mood:  pensive
Current Music: the charred embers of the fallen
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I've been at the Tri-Millenial Rave Party for the past week now, constantly partying. constantly boozing. Constantly Hitting on chicks that are several leagues out of my leagues. Who the hell thought that dividing up the human mating process into leagues was a good idea anyway?
After several failed attempts on hitting hot Space Marine chicks, I finally give up and head towards the exit doorway, drunkenly stumbling over the fallen unconcious drunken stumblers who didn't quite have the same perseverence that I do. But that's why -I- am a Space Marine and not them. And not just any space marine, oh noes; definitely not! but a space marine from the same family as one of the greatest Space Marines of all time! Before I could recall the glory days of fighting Orcs, Zerg Monstrosities, Space Elves, Orcs Riding Zerg Monstrosities, Torrasques, Dracula's Descendants, Globe Selling Gypsies, Monacle-Laden Phase spiders, Blue Tinted Cat Furries, or the "Horrid Nemesis" I finally succcumb to the logic of blood-to-alchohol levels. I eventually wakeup with a nasty headache, 2 torches, and a brand new inventory management system, since I love nothing more than managing my inventories. Searching for a recollection yields a prologue (and a castle door) 
THE LAST THING THAT YOU REMEMBER IS STANDING BEFORE THE WIZARD (wizards are douches) LAKMIR AS HE WAVED HIS HANDS. (I suspect drug induced raping)
NOW YOU FIND YOURSELF STARING AT AN ENTRYWAY WHICH LIES AT TEH EDGE OF A FOREST
THE DRUID'S (oh snap, he's a druid too?) WORDS RING IN YOUR EARS (all words ring right now):
"WITHIN THE CASTLE SHADOWGATE LIES YOUR QUEST.
THE DREADED WARLOCK LORD WILL USE HIS BLACK MAGIC TO RAISE THE BEHEMOTH FROM TH DARK DEPTHS. THE COMBINATION OF HIS DARK ARTS AND THE GREAT TITAN'S POWER WILL SURELY DESTROY US ALL!!
YOU ARE ARE THE LAST OF THE LINE OF KINGS, THE SEED OF PROPHECY THAT WAS FORTOLD EONS AGO. ONLY YOU CAN STOP TEH EVIL ONE FROM DARKENING OUR WORLD FOREVER!!
FARE THE WELL."
And thus begins my new Teeth-gritting quest in the name of the great RocketFish, since no other god would dare have the balls to deal with behemoths or titan's
This is how I stare at the world now. Perhaps due the the massive amounts of alcohol consumed, or mayhaps due to a curse laid on me during my drug-rape-sleep, my primitive, booze soaked brain knows only how to interact with the world in 8 ways [LOOK], [TAKE], [OPEN], [CLOSE], [USE], [HIT], [LEAVE], and [SPEAK]. I also have access to a braile-like map telling where doors are. My inventory is show to the free world, and has a paltry 7 slots, as well as 2 additional slots representing my hands. I currently posses a
 |  | | {LIT TORCH} | {BURNT OUT TORCH} |
wielded in my hands. (descriptions are couretesy of [LOOK]ing at the TORCH) I'm mildly curious as to the sheer power of this torch, casting shadows about the ENTIRE great outdoors; singlehandedly illuminating the world. I feel empowered by this god-torch. 
I also have a SPELL LUST. I Currently ahve no spells LUSTED though. My hand is guided only by the GOD-TORCH
I proceed to experiment with my other commands
 |  |  | | Huzzah! I have successfully used the [USE] command | Scientific method: does X always lead to Y? | fire relationship (n)X=Y^n: Where X is fire, Y is degree of pain, and [n] is the number of exposures to fire |
Death does not approve of my science
The Druid-Wizard dissapproves as well, but instead of just insulting me, LAKMIR revives my charred ass and tells me to go do something productive. I read this as permission to experiment with the rest of my 8 commands. 
[HIT]+[SELF]
[LEAVE]+{LIT TORCH} results in failure. I Have a strict Anti-Littering Policy. Same thing happens with {burnt out torch}
My GOD-TORCH has burnt out it seems. Without the Holy-Light of the GOD-TORCH, the whole world plunges into the greatest of darkness. Darkness so great that eons of technology is lost, plague runs rampant, dragons steal maidens, books become unwritten, and somewhere in the east, Anglican Goths start taking over Europe. I Have singlehandedly Created a new dark-age.
Also the grass ground grows a floor for the exclusive purpose that i might smash my face on it
We're going to be good buds for the next while, aren't we death?
Current Location: Front Lawn
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Dark Ages
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So at the end of every year i get a little bit sad, since at this point i always reflect on the year itself. And no matter what, it feels like I never accomplish anything useful with my year. This is of course, not true. I still have my (Crappy) Job, and the tidy little profit from it (which is larger than should be possible given my circumstances) I have a Girlfriend, I'm at the highend of the technology scale, my friends are largely not douchebags, Im accomplished at the skillls I possess, Which is a red Mage worth. And for once, I have no time in my life to accomplish everything. Its a feeling similar to being short all your life, wishing you were tall. and then it happens; and its not that great because now people want you to do things with it. Short form is that i miss being bored as now i have a metric crap-tonne of stuff to do and no feasable means to do it. Perhaps my biggest accomplishment of the eyar is that I am in college. This is of course on top of everything stated above. I expected failure due to the lack of time, but it turns out I got a final mark of ~80%. I am depressed at this even because I'm one of those people who constantly exist at the top tier of life, the top 5%, etc etc. and 80% is a fail mark compared to 90's benchmark i set for myself. Also further semesters are supposed to be a lot harder. :'( Other life aspects is that disagreements between me and family units are growing more subtle, but more present. soon my life will be a metaphorical minefield for subjects, to which the only logical response is to ragequit. More NES adventures are to follow, just in case that's my only use towards you with this site. Im working on one right now, But the game itself is devoid of funnyness, or even hilarity-inspiring imagery. So Im'going to dump everything into one post for it (im at 70+ Screenshots and still 2 more worlds to clear. The post will not have nearly that many in it luckily) The game after that is another classic from my childhood, and should be fairly interesting, as it revolves around a tank. and the one after -that- is one ive never actually played, but can only be made of awesome, since in the first minute i got to set something on fire. The Trough water we call 2009 is about to be emptied and replaced with the alpine clear waters of 2010, and so i must resume my life and deal with its shenagins from those compratiots in the great game of life. As I Raise up my weathered body to the inevitable conflict due to occur from alchohol, only one thought strikes my mind; how long before the spring waters of twenty-ten become clouded with byproducts of human nature? my Guess is 1 month before we realize that the future years of 20xx are actually filled with lame. Tags: intermission
Current Location: the recurved path of life
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: the siren call of future failure
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No one has bothered recording the music of Captain comic, but just to add to the ambience: take this! After thourough analysis of his situation (read: raged all over every part of HOMOSEXUALITY) jim has drawn a startling conclusion! There is something funny going on! How much funnyness is occuring? the UN-DEFUBULATORABLE BARRIER has a hole in it.
This deFUbulatable Hole is extremely hard to find, but luckily Jim has +10's in SPOT, SEARCH, USE MAGIC DEVICE, and DEFUBULATE. victory is achieved and the adventure contiinued. HARDCORE ORGASM LOOTING is in order upon the collection of BLASTER LV.5. On the retaliation: F-METRE Goes into PERMENENT SADNESS, achieveing SEVERE DEPRESSION. Jim knows his suit won't last much longer under these circumstances. 
There is no new horrendoucsly coloured world to run around in, only more BOWSER CASTLE hallways, complete with RAGE WILDLIFE.
When did Bowser start making his castle out of PRIMARY COLOURS? it is very distressing to the F-METRE.
well that was awesome. Jim had just refilled his S-METRE via DEATH. and then he found this. RAGE WILDLIFE is amused.
It is the UNKNOWN. Memories flood Jim's mind, filling his LOOT sensorial organs with dreams of ANCIENT LAMP. Onwards Brave Soul!
There is sever alarm on teh topic of the UNKNOWN FAUNA. it attacks in hues of pastel color at speeds of fast.
The UNKNOWN is obviously a product of an 1970's COMPUTER TECH TELEVISION SHOW, as proven by the HUGE MICROCHIPS, possibly running the entire process tree for HOMOSEXUALITY.
definetly 70's era technology. what other society would hang a GOTESQUE SHAWL-CARPET upon the wall in decoration? Especially to ahve it run by HUGE MICROCHIPS. What concievable function does this do?
Its a good thing Jim is a PROFESSIONAL DEFUBULATOR now, otherwise this SERIES OF ANNOYING JUMPS might annoy him
More INANE ARCHITECTURE. also the upper right corner is filled with PAIN and RAGE UNKNOWN FAUNA. the mysterious UNKNOWN TUBING makes a re-appearence. is it also run by HUGE MICROCHIPS?
At Last! SWEET LOOTz are beheld lovingly in Jim's arms, never to be let go.
Thw MAD LOOTz Page is not Completely filled, minus 1 ANCIENT SPACE TREASURE to be collected. an EPIC BOSS BATTLE can be felt in the near future, Jim has that kind of smell sensing. Try as he might, Jim cannot activate the LANTERN.
[not pictured: cave of insults flipping the bird]
Logic tells Jim that Lanterns are for spelunking. the closest thing to spelunking Jim can attain however is the CAVE OF INSULTS with its MANY FU's. It totally has no effect on the lantern however. 
With DEJECTION in his soul, Jim returns to the last door unexplored, His GRASS&TREE LADEN SPACE BACKYARD, and most importantly, to the house he came out of.
The great Iron Doors yield to the IMMENSE POWER of the USELESS LAMP. It seems in Jim's Absence, DRACULA has taken over JIM'S MANOR. Jim is much pissed. Jim also senses a much desired PEDESTALLED TREASURE nearby.
DRACULA has a fascination with GLOBES. Jim is more pissed, Jim hates Globes. And maps. and especially compasses. there is no ANCIENT TREASURE in already explored areas, so why would anyone bother with explored areas?
Jim finds his SECRET ATTIC PASSAGE is still intact. and proceeds to wipe his dirty feet all over his METAPHORICAL LIVES. Why metaphorical? because space marines never need more than 2 lives: one as a space marine and another as a dreadnought.
Oh SNAP. it seems some CHEEKY HOMOSEXUAL GHOSTS are attempting to Steal the PEDESTALLED TREASURE, and have deployed an F-METRE DRAINER nearby.
CHEEKY HOMOSEXUAL GHOSTS even get away with the dirty deed as well. those CHEEKY HOMOSEXUALS!
Jim is so UNBELIEVABLY PISSED that he no longer ad-heres to girly things like WALLS or SOLID OBJECTs or PHYSICS
it seems DRACULA got what was coming to him.
 JIM'S PISSED OFFNESS does not prevent GRAVITY from claiming him in an INVISABLE PIT however. 
More JIM PISSED OFFNESS PHYSICS DEFIANCE
SWEET LOOTZ are found to be RE-PEDESTALLED, and guarded by CHEEKY HOMOSEXUAL and DEPRESSED HETEROSEXUAL GHOSTS. Jim isn't taking crap, and smashes them with his face.
 |  | | SWEET LOOTS are collected | MISSION COMPLETE. SPACE TREASURES collected and DRACULA defeated. on top of all this, much ASSORTED DEBRIS has been collected and integrated into Jim's SUIT. It is a Good DAY to be a SPACE MARINE |
Wait; What? Jim has been collecting supplies for a once-every-3000year rave party? a rave party that keeps peace in the universe? GRIM SATISFACTION? what the hell is GRIM SATISFACTION? is it being content with NECROPHILIAC sex? NECROFILIA is kinda GRIM I guess. 
I guess I win.
>>>>COMING SOON<<<<
-epilogue
-Final Thoughts
-Cast and Crew
-HOMOSEXUALITY
-WHATS NEXT
-NOT DRACULA Tags: defubulator, dracula, dreadnought, jim, physics defiance, rage, rage wildlife, space marine
Current Location: Trimillenial Rave Party
Current Mood:  thankful
Current Music: Demon's souls apparently
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Jim is alarmed and afraid at discovering a secret DRACULA CAVE inside of the HOMOSEXUALITY, the inner SPACE MARINEness prevails, and Jim bravely presses onward into its murky depths. depths of TRAGEDY. 
The Ever Present MURKNESS presents problems to non SPACE MARINES attempting to navigate the MURKNESS of DRACULA'S CAVE, but luckily SPACE MARINES are not easily defeated by such wussily thing like MURK. Jim Discovers a secret DRACULA door hiding behind ANCIENT TREASURE. It is hastily JIM-HANDLED into revealing its secrets.
Jim Has been Fooled. This is not DRACULA'S CAVE at all, it is one of his many FALSE IMPRESSIONIST CAVES meant to throw off naive and Cocky VAMPIRE HUNTERS. The True nature of the Cave is "The CAVE OF INSULTS" designed only to harass ones shortcomings, inabilities, and lack of mad BASKETBALL SKILLZ.
Jim retreats back through the secret HARASSMENT DOOR, and continues along his original path. Jim discovers a new HARASSMENT DOOR, and JIM-HANDLES it. To the left of the new area yields the PIT OF EPIC FAIL 
Jim makes a mental note to REQUISITION a GRAPPLING HOOK.
Jim Eventually prevails after much TRIAL AND ERROR, primarily composed of the latter.
CAVE OF INSULT FLORA has been discovered. The huge HEIGHT attribute wards off would-be INGESTERS, including Jim.
This is called SHAFT PASSAGE in the tongue of the local tribes. it is aptly named in Jim's view because Many people see...
There is no reason to bring this kind of language into our dungeoneering yo.
At Last, fruits of labour are to be had! It appears to be a WHACKING INSTRUMENT of some kind. an ORGY of HASTY LOOTING follows.
"GASPé!" Jim crys in ever present glee of looting "ADDITIONAL LOOT!" the groans, moans and slurps of ORGASMIC LOOTING are hearable to all those passing by the CAVE OF INSULTS. The TOURIST REVENUE of HOMOSEXUALITY drops 70% on this day.
A newly updated MAD LOOTZ page is revealed. "AZOUNDS, WAND OF TELEPORT"
a few failed [USE MAGIC DEVICE] checks later and teh functionality of the WAND OF TELEPORT is revealed
-----------------------------------------------------------------> There is only one name for such a wonderful tool the "DE -FU-BULATOR" The effect on LOCAL MOLECULES seems to be minimal, although the BITTER TASTE OF CANCER is felt in the back of the mouth. Nevertheless jim is beyond ectastic. Jim RAMPAGES throught the rest of the CAVE OF INSULTS. or rather, it loops back to the beginning, to HOMOSEXUALITY. Jim sees little difference, HOMOSEXUALITY must be passed through on the way to conquering FU BARRIERS.  Jim Proceeds back to BOWSERS CASTLE, and with minutes of training under is belt, masterfully DEFUBULATES the great pit of BANE  Normally it takes 2 or 3 Jim's to traverse this pit. Taking effective IMAGES during RAMPANT TELEPORTING is apparently very Hard, and results in terrible quality. Future iterations of SPACE MARINE should do away with this shortcoming.  unfortuneatly, BOWSERS CASTLE isn't done with its SHENANEGINS yet, and throws a non-DEFUBULATABLE FU BARRIER into Jims way 
It remains unDEFUBULATOR-able. Jim consoles himself to rampaging over local RAGE WILDLIFE
Tags: defubulator, insults, jim, space marine, statuebird
Current Location: Bowsers Crib
Current Mood:  discontent
Current Music: cancer
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No one said the path top being a SPACE MARINE was to be an easy one, and that many FU BARRIERS must be overcome. It is the emporers way and his children must follow. Drawing upon those holy words, Jim returns to the task at hand and explores the otherside of the HOMOSEXUALITY
This is back at the original HOMOSEXUALITY door. It took much S-METRE to return here.
A few steps to the left yields ANCIENT TREASURE!! the logic of CAUSE AND EFECT tells Jim that a 2x powerful gun is to be found inside of its bountiful aluminum shell.
or the ability to fire TWO blasts from the ARM CANNON. The F-METRE struggles to keep up with the demand caused by a second ANCIENT TREASURE addon.
Sometimes The ENRAGED WILDLIFE drops ANCIENT TREASURE. This one is called the "sinners cup" It may return the drinker back to life when the fall in glorious FACE-ON-WILDLIFE combat. "Those who drink from my golden chalice Lips
May gain wisdom from the god in the form of tips
Ressurection is from caffeine
contained within my golden sheen
granting once again courage to stand
to smite ones enemies with they facial gland"
Space Marine Codex: 13-12-delta 
further on to the lift hold vast secrets. More ANCIENT TREASURE and a HOMOSEXUALITY ROCKETSHIP. GAYNESS to the stars, BRO!
F-METRE cannot keep up with the firey rampage that stems from Jim's Blaster. Face Seeking WILDLIFE be damned.
Another FU WALL-Stump efficiently PARRIES Jim's Progress, abusing the fact that Jim Is terrible at BASKETBALL, all the while RAGING HOMO-WILDLIFE is ATTACKING Jim's S-METRE. It becomes apparent the way to beat a SPACE MARINE is to DOUBLE TEAM them with a FU WALL
Jim Boards the HOMO-ROCKET.
Jim's In TRUE SPACE! arranged in GEOLOGICAL ORDER |  |  | | The HOMO-ROCKET is preset to guide users to its destination: TRUE SPACE; not a tree or grass to be seen. The SPACE DOCK suggests this TRUE SPACE is inhabited | Jim's BASKETBALL SKILLS are increased 3-fold in TRUE SPACE! | More ANCIENT TREASURE. F-METRE Crys pre-emptively an ANGRY SPACE-BUBBLE moves in to attack. It to is defeated by Jim's FACIAL MARTIAL ART PROWESS. |  TRUE SPACE has many MOONS and GIRDERS. a SPACE INVADER is seen!  Some SPACE-FOOL has left his SPACE DIAMONDS lying around haphazardly, guarded only by SPACE BUBBLES, SPACE INVADERS, and Meteorites. All are unparalleled to Jim's FACE.  a quicke look at the MAD LOOTZ page; SPACE DIAMONDS are seen in their full glory, as well as teh F-METRE's Bane. More SINNERS CUPS have been picked up. Jim's feels EMPOWERED with the EMPORERS WILL!  Here Lies a SPACE STATION, perhaps the careless owner of the SPACE DIAMONDS is inside. 
The SPACE STATION hes seen better days. it looks like it has been ravaged by an enemy of the EMPORER. The BASKETBALLS SKILLS SUPPRESSOR remains in working condition, and Jim's BASKETBALL SKILLS return to normal.
STATION RAVAGERS are still present, and are highly destructive in the SPACE STATION's small Corridors. amidst the obviously hurried evacuation, an S-METRE filler Treasure remains in a secluded room.
OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHATTHING!!!
Jim calls it a SPACEHAM
With no obvious forms of attack, or limbs, it obviously employs DARK ARTS to perform its EVIL WAYS.
While You may barely be able to see it, what lies ahead is one of the most valued ANCIENT TREASURES of the all. the CORKSCREW.
It is not related to screw attacks. Instead it allows one to attack on planes other than "in front of ARM CANNON"
Jim is so happy, that the sheer amount of happiness causes a SINNERS CUP to drop right in front of him. Notice the VARIATION in Y-COORDINATE of the ARM CANNON BLASTS?
Jim Continues to explore the the ravaged half of the SPACE STATION, which in some corridors is less Ravaged, but instead filled with pits; pits of DESPAIR. Also, TRUE SPACE has an excessive number of MOONS.
Jim has discovered BLACK-MAN SHOES, they are quickly LOOTED and EQUIPPED. They PERMANENTLY increase Jim's BASKETBALL SKILLS by +1
ANARCHY LEDGE is defeated, and a new DOOR is JIM-HANDLED
Jim Rediscovers HOMOSEXUALITY
To the left of the new HOMO -DOOR lies a previously undiscovered HOMO-DOOR. It is EAGERLY JIM-HANDLED
PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST
Tags: draculas cave, mad lootz, screw, space marine
Current Location: Draculas cave
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: Space marine Codex
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In between rounds of school work, housework, and just plain old work. I remembererd a shred of my childhood in the form of an NES game. This totally has nothing to do with tommy going down his memory lane im sure  Curiously enough, I always remembered it as "Captain Cosmo" Aand not comic. But i also remember walls attacking my childhood. Notice teh 2 person design crew?!?!?! Michael Denio was obviously a genius to put this together. Also, the cartridge this thing came in was black. Illicitly legal black.  This is mt childhood. I remember the main character being a lot less pink. and you know; not a castle in space. with grass. Im going to call teh pink clad dweeb "Jim" mostly because jim is fast to type. Jim wants to be a space marine one day, and this is his training. to explore the black-tree&grass- laden abyss Also, that arm cannon is completely non functional  But 3 steps to the right reveals wildlife. ANGERED SPACE WILDLIFE. and a lot of it. Jim is scared. Jim wants a gun now.  Further to teh right (and more angry SPACE wildlife) Jim discovers some ANCIENT TREASURE. ANCIENT TREASURE comes in the form of an OPENED POP CAN. Also; Smashing wildlife with your face is an extremely effective tactic against SPACE WILDLIFE, each one taking a bar off of my "S-metre" but at teh expense of my S-METRE I may one-hit KO the ANGERED SPACE WILDLIFE.  The ANCIENT TREASURE POP CAN turns out to be an upgrade for Jim's SPACE-MARINE Initiate suit. Namely it allows proper use of the ARM CANNON. Jim is pleased. Jim gets angry all over the SPACE WILDLIFE. the ARM CANNON is just as effective as JIM'S FACE against SPACE WILDLIFE but replaces S-METRE drainage with F-METRE drainage. The F-METRE however, recharges on its own. Jim is incapable of pointing up or down though, firing only straight ahead. SPACE MARINE INITIATE suits are built like that to prevent initites from firing upon ENDANGERED SPACE WILDLIFE like GREEN STRING WORMS. GREEN STRING WORMS are Jim's Nemesis.  Jim discovers an ANCIENT MEDIEVAL SHIELD. ANCIENT LOOT of any type makes Jim happy. This particular ANCIENT TREASURE refills Jims S-METRE fully, allowing for more FACE on SPACE-WILDLIFE action!  Jim has discovered a FLOATING SPACE FOREST GROVE.  After Much FACE VS SPACE WILDLIFE action, Jim Finds a Door! it is LOCKED. But there is a KEY on top of the LOCKED SPACE DOOR (not shown, since Jim has already looted it with GREAT HASTE) Jim's S-METRE is dangerously low.  Jim discovers HOMOSEXUALALITY on the other side of the SPACE DOOR! Jim Retreats.  Fighting more SPACE WILDLIFE in SPACE-TREE&GRASS-LAND reveals yet another SPACE-DOOR! This one is UNGUARDED from Jim's mad DOOR MANNING SKILLZ  Jim does not know what he has discovered.  It Contains more ANCIENT TREASURE in teh shape of a LAMP on the other side of an FU pit though. This saddens Jim to leave teh area.  MURKING to the right of the HOMOSEXUALITY yields a NON SPACE DOOR. S-METRE is precariously low  |  |  |  | | Jim discovers a BOWSER CASTLE! | It is filled with RAGE WILDLIFE | AND PITS with floating COLOUR BLOCKS | And an FU WALL guarding and S-METRE filler |
Jim is very, very sad thanks to his depleted S-METRE. Jim is crying right now. Tags: ancient treasure, discoveries, jim, rage wildlife, space marine, space wildlife
Current Location: space TREE&GRASS land
Current Music: 8 bit NES SPACE ORCHESTRA
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its 2.30am right now and im supposed to be working on an english report assignment (english got spellchecked as being improperly spelled) (and spellchecked) damn this raging wordsmithery error flagger. I can't focus right now. So im putting radnom musing into this live journal space. namely like how i have deoderant on my desk called ocean surf and i realize that i don't really want my armpits smelling like the rejects of ocean currents, spilled onto our precious land in the form of foam. ideally Im going to get all ADD like wierdness out in here so that i don't talk about ocean surf in a report. somethign about that seem like a bad idea. Space marines are awesome. this si something everyone in know knows. the 40k style space marines. each one is like a vin diesel on steroids, trapped inside tank armour which also happens to boost punch power by 300%. also they have 3 lungs. After the collossal failure of halloween where I went what was politely known as the "Dude with teh Big Sword i feel inspired to make a cosutme put together in the time period of more than 1 hour. also space marine armour is good for parties. and anime north. and movies. and pickin up chicks. I got owned by a triangle today. Ijm kind of sad. I found a new webcomic  I ahve music playing. It has dogs in the background barking. possibly ones covered in ocean surf. Advance Wars: Days Of Ruin is actually a pretty good game. At first I hated it because of how -different- it was from the normal series but i think it was meant to be a bastard child of inspiration, a playground as it were to test out new ideas before sullying the main series. Anti-tanks are still the most hax seen since Kanbei's gold plated everything but everything else is good. Naval combat got a massive upgrade between allowing battleships to move and fire and carriers producing air units rather than just housing them. Stealths should have stayed in though, since there are so many new ways to deal with them (and air in general) I am in possession of almond paste. It tastes like Christmas. Laptop touchpads are wierd. they vary on every laptop, and some work better than others. I find mine works fairly well usually, but occasionally jacknifes my curser into an obscure corner.
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On the thirty-first day of the tenth month, the god emporer of mankind decreed that all families were to open their doors and hand out tidings to his children's children. In his honour, His children's children paid homage to the god emporer and his kindness by dressing up in costumes meant to appease -His- tastes. Generations later the tradition has fallen to the murks of an orc slop bucket; no longer is it -His- name that is honoured; but instead those of the false kings. Greater tragedy still is that the tradition itself barely exists; held up only by the old ones that rightly refuse to give in. This is Anarchy. Sinners shall not go unpunished, and it is by my hand, in his name and armour that judgement shall fall.
We Are the Space Marines. We are returning.
Tags: hallowed tradition, halloween, space marine
Current Location: Drop Pod #54
Current Music: Borderlands
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